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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718635">Missing Fraction</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 4, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attraction, Awkward Romance, Bad Cooking, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Bittersweet Ending, Denial of Feelings, Drunken Kissing, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Forbidden Love, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Intoxication, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Song Lyrics, Song: Blank Space (Taylor Swift), Surprise Kissing, Teen Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:33:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,463</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22718635</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Yu wants a fairy-tale romance, Adachi wants to have his way with the good boy. Things take a turn for the worse once Adachi begins to care for the kid.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adachi Tohru/Narukami Yu, Adachi Tohru/Seta Souji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Nice To Meet You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Songfic of Blank Space by Taylor, I wrote over a year ago. This mess started as a joke between my mutual and I, until it went too far.</p><p>Happy Valentine's Day/Adachi's birth month.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adachi still recalled his first time at the Dojima household; the night Ryotaro brought him home. Tohru didn’t mind seeing his boss’s daughter swing swiftly from joy to disappointment at the sight of the young detective. He knew his boss wasn’t exactly a family man so Adachi was technically an intrusion on what little time they have alone together. Tohru sympathized with the girl, so he made a poor attempt to lighten the mood.</p><p>“Nice to meet ya! I’m Adachi, the guy who’s been your dad’s slave since spring.”</p><p>Dojima shot him a dirty look. “I can still work you harder, you know.”</p><p>“Haha. Good one, Sir!” Adachi watched Nanako trying to contain a giggle with satisfaction. His attention had made, however, a quick and unexpected shift towards another point of interest.</p><p>What caught Tohru's eye was his partner’s nephew. The two might have caught a glimpse of each other twice in passing, but never exchanged a proper look. Adachi took Yu’s slender hand into the firm grip of his own—“Nice to meet you,”—and gave the narrow figure a once-over, doing this quick enough to prevent the gesture from coming across as a leer, but pausing his gaze at Narukami’s eyes.</p><p>Yu stood tall, a selcouth quality rested in the fair, delicate features of his face, his eyes, his nose, his... “Look at that face...” Yu maintained a warm smile, so genuine it narrowed his eyes as he angled his head with polite curiosity. There was an almost mesmerizing effect in this, and when Tohru realized this his hand snapped back like a rubber band to withdraw into his pocket.</p><p>The feeling agitated what little shred of the superego lingered in his mind. “No way,” it said, “I’m not doing this.” As for now, his Id fixated on food more than whatever it was that had taken place seconds ago.</p><p>Dinner rolled around soon enough, and the situation was hopeless. Tohru’s eyes made a roam over the members of the table, resting at the boy for only a moment, then resorting to his dish before somebody noticed. The way Narukami sat with ideal posture, ate with copybook table manners, and overall radiated the aura of a model student or an exemplary nephew suggested that the ‘accident’ would be difficult to make. “There’s nothing to be gained from an ‘accident’ like that,” his Superego attempted to reason.</p><p>Excess food bored his Id now that its hunger had been satisfied. Adachi’s appetite was limited, and even more so now that he had to adapt to being poorly paid. Looking for a new toy to busy itself with, it proposed, “But it sounds like fun, don’t you wanna play?” The thought tempted him. In this barren and depressing little town, Adachi struggled to resist a game.</p><p> </p><p>The end of April crawled into the end of May, and Yu crawled out of the heat into the cool store. He scanned Junes when, lo and behold, a familiar face appears. In a bite-sized place like this, it was all one could do to turn around without standing inches away from another familiar face, but this reminded Yu of the favor his uncle asked him to do.</p><p>“Good afternoon, sir.” Yu hurried to greet Adachi with his arms hidden behind him to conceal a fidget, hand awkwardly shifting against his forearm—elbow to wrists, and back.</p><p>“Hm?” Tohru’s voice nearly cracked at the realization of who he faced. “What’re you doing here, killing time? Poor choice of location, there’s nothing here.” But Yu was. Yu stood there, alone with Adachi, in a sea of strangers. Something in Adachi brightened at the thought.</p><p>“My uncle sent me to look for you.”</p><p>Adachi’s little smile died away. All at once, the situation made a shift to, “me, the nephew of my partner, and the spirit of my partner himself in a supermarket, watching me from above to make sure I don’t make a pass at his kid.” “What did you expect?” nagged Superego. The voice began to resemble a mother telling her son the puppy he found couldn’t be kept. Id sighed with contempt and dissatisfaction, knowing Adachi had to make a move.</p><p>“Narukami, was it?” Of course, it was the one and only. The city boy’s name occupied the lips of the townspeople like a cold sore. Tohru never spoke the Yu’s name before, but the young man wanted him to occupy his lips more and leave them warm. “Where’ve you been?”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” mumbled the legendary transfer student. “I always took it you were a busy person and would hate to impose.”</p><p>Impose on what? “It’s no trouble. I’m not exactly the most popular in this town anyway; you could say I’m a bit lonely—” This struck a soft spot in Yu he wasn’t conscious of, but Adachi could read him like a magazine— “So, hey, let’s be friends.” Reclaiming Yu’s hand, Tohru couldn’t wait to see where this would lead.</p><p> </p><p>The sight of a teenage boy running an errand for ingredients the following week surprised Adachi. The two made eye contact at Junes again and knew this gesture was an unspoken invitation to a conversation.</p><p>“Shopping for dinner?” Observed Adachi. “I’m impressed.” Yu scooted a step back at the praise as Adachi went on, “I live alone, so taking care of dinner can get pretty tedious.”</p><p>“Why don’t you eat?”</p><p>“I guess you wouldn’t get it, but I’m so tired after work, I just boil cup ramen or something.” He shrugged. “That’s the life of a bachelor—but, hey—I hear you’re pretty popular with the women.”</p><p>“Who told you that?”</p><p>“Your uncle—” Not that Adachi needed to be told that after one look at Yu—“Did we guess right?” Yu’s bashful silence suggested positively. Adachi sighed. <em>How lame</em>. “So I assume you already have a girlfriend?”</p><p>“No!” Yu paused, embarrassed at how loud that came out. “I mean, no.” When he misread Adachi’s flat expression as unimpressed, he wondered if he made the wrong choice. There was no turning back, so all he could do was hurry to add: “But there is a girl I like.”</p><p>This set Adachi on end. “Who is she?” He didn’t intend the question to emerge sounding so apprehensive, so he countered the tone with a smile and a casual: “Do you plan on asking her out?”</p><p>“Uh, her identity's a secret, but—” Yu’s eyes darted around the store as if his options lingered in the air somewhere— “I do plan on asking her out.”</p><p>“You just haven’t yet.” Adachi intended to finish the statement for Yu.</p><p>Yu, however, mistook this for suspicion, so he explained, “Butterflies in my stomach, and all that.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” Adachi couldn’t stomach any more of this himself. He grew weary of speaking to people for the day; his energy for social interactions evaporated and he needed some space to think. The young man wouldn’t be leaving the store anytime soon, however. The old woman who constantly confused Adachi for her son has just spotted him while stepping out of the elevator.</p><p>“Oh, Tohru-chan!”</p><p>Yu echoed, “Tohru-chan?”</p><p>Adachi looked nervous; he wasn’t mentally prepared for another person to talk his ear off. Yu seemed less sympathetic, however, and it was all he could do to contain his laughter during their conversation—but only for the sake of humoring the old lady.</p><p>When Adachi finally managed to free himself of the affectionate old crone, he returned to Yu. “Sorry you had to see that.”</p><p>“It’s no problem…” Yu was shocked he could finish the sentence without giggling. “...Tohru—”</p><p>“Alright, alright, I get it—Geez. It’s embarrassing enough, already.” Adachi already had a lot on his mind, and he didn’t want to add Yu calling his name to the list.</p><p> </p><p>Seventeen years of the cycle meant Yu acquainted himself with a rule of seasons by now: sweltering spring days meant chilly summer nights. He couldn’t remember how his evening stroll with Adachi happened that June night, but it came to a quick end when the two discovered the supermarket was closed, which meant the young detective wouldn’t be having any dinner again tonight.</p><p>“Why don’t you eat at my place, instead?”</p><p>“Huh?” It surprised Adachi, how quickly Yu transitioned from calling the place ‘my uncle’s house’ to ‘<em>my place</em>.’ Speaking of uncles…“That’s a generous offer, but Dojima-san’s not home. Wouldn’t we be alone together?”</p><p>Exactly.</p><p>“Come to think of it, Nanako’s there, too. I’m sure your uncle would be okay.”</p><p>Yu hadn’t thought of that.</p><p>Of course, Nanako’s presence only brightened the dinner table and wiped away any emotion of awkwardness in the air. Adachi swapped between magic tricks and conversation at intervals, but Yu was so fixated on watching Tohru’s hands to catch the trick, he wasn’t sure how the discussion trailed off to talk of marriage.</p><p>“What kind of girls do you like, big bro?”</p><p>“Huh? Girls?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Nanako looked eager, while Adachi did better at concealing interest.</p><p>“I don’t have a particular type.”</p><p>“Well—” Interjected Adachi, lifting the empty palms of his hands for Nanako to see as he was still in a magic trick— “What about that girl you said you liked? You never described her.” Curiosity dominated his feelings of...jealousy, was it?</p><p>“There…” Yu noticed Nanako’s shock shift from the magic trick to Yu’s statement. “...Actually isn’t any girl I like. You must be mistaken.”</p><p>Adachi watched Nanako exhale in relief, feeling half-guilty for scaring her like that and half-agitated he couldn’t get an answer. The young man would have to try again some other time.</p><p> </p><p>The heat persisted into the opening week of July, and on that weekend morning, the Dojima family set up an inflatable swimming pool with the help of Adachi. Nanako already had her swim dress on and occupied herself in the yard with water balloons, juggling them with caution so Yu would have the chance to play. Adachi now sat on the porch with his legs in the pool, pants folded above his knees as he filled it with water. A hose in one hand, Tohru reached for the bowl of cherries behind him with the other when he brushed against a long set of fingers.</p><p>“Oh, good morning.”</p><p>“Not hanging out with your friends on a fine day like this?” The two paused to admire how crystal blue the sky looked in the countryside, as opposed the yellow haze of the city both had been in less than a year ago, then exchanged looks as if they shared an inside joke.</p><p>“Not today, I’d rather be here.” Yu’s white t-shirt had been tucked into his swim trunks, and suddenly Adachi wondered if he could fill the pool faster. There was a pause in sound as they watched Nanako. Adachi’s knee tapped Yu’s and remained. Yu made no move to shift away, pretending the area where he could feel Adachi’s skin didn’t prickle.</p><p>The boy shifted his focus to how annoyingly untidy the detective’s outfit was in contrast. Blazer off, Adachi had unbuttoned his sleeves without rolling them up, while his tie and half his shirt had been undone. But, the latter was still tucked into Adachi’s pants, which were pulled up to his waist. Overall, it was unclear if he had the intention of joining in, or if his boss’s presence held him back. He was quick to replace his line of sight back to Nanako.</p><p>“Your porch directly faces the sun, huh? It’s hot…” Adachi watched the red stain the juice left when Yu ate the fruit, contemplating how he’d rather have that in his mouth than cherries themselves. Now, there was a line of thought he didn’t want to explore. Instead, he pressed his finger to the hose and aimed it at Nanako to surprise the girl. She gasped at the sudden shower, then burst into a fit of giggles, clasping her little knees and pointing at the guilty party.</p><p>“You have to do that to yourself too, as a penalty!” Adachi couldn’t turn another chance to hear her laugh down.</p><p>He angled the hose at his face so the water pressure blew his hair back and left a dense trail dripping down his chin all over his shirt. The sight of him drenched made Nanako eye Yu next.</p><p>“Oh, no.” Yu raised his hands before him. “I couldn’t—”</p><p>“Permission to hose the stick-in-the-mud down?” Adachi smirked.</p><p>Nanako straightened herself, then pointed. “Permission granted!”</p><p>“You heard the woman.” And before Yu could argue, he was soaked from head to toe. The porch dripped, and even Dojima laughed.</p><p>“Now, Daddy!”</p><p>“Hey, now.” Adachi wasn’t ready to die before getting a good look at Yu’s state. “You’re going too far.”</p><p>Nanako spun to give her father an expectant look. He quickly turned away from her to address his partner. “Uh, thanks for humoring my daughter, but you’ll catch a cold if you stay like that. Let Yu lend you a shirt.”</p><p>Yu grabbed a handful of cherries to fill his mouth, peeled his wet t-shirt off his back and tossed it onto Adachi’s face as all the counterattack he could muster before the two rose and headed back in. The moist cotton initially obscured Adachi’s view, until he threw it onto the porch and followed into the living room.</p><p>“Nice…” Tohru mumbled.</p><p>Yu turned back to him and stuck the last cherry out. “Nice?”</p><p>“Awfully nice of you to lend me your clothes, despite what I did back there.” Adachi followed him up the narrow stairs.</p><p>Yu tied a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue, then spit it out into tissue to toss away. Adachi hastened to remove his reaction to this and force a passive expression on his face when Yu turned to him and answered, “I know you were just humoring Nanako.”</p><p>“Like that pretty lie, you told her?” The two reached Yu’s bedroom and stopped in the center. “There isn’t any girl you like?”</p><p>“That wasn’t a lie.” Yu bent by his drawer, taking a shirt into his arm. His spine caught sunlight tainted by the window. The glow cast shadows accentuation every little scratch or mark on his back. “It’s true.”</p><p>“Then how come...?”</p><p>Narukami rose and considered his friend for some time. Adachi was just about to tell him to spit it out already when Yu finally spoke again, “...We’ve known each other for a while, now, so maybe I can tell you this.” He gestured a beckon for Adachi took to take a step closer as he was about to whisper. Adachi took two.</p><p>Yu proceeded, “Why do you think my parents don’t write me? Don’t call, told me to spend a year, won’t even schedule a visit…”</p><p>Adachi was about to give the answer he received from Dojima about their business trip, but the lack of contact suggested something not even Dojima knew. “Well, hey, my parents don’t give two—” He eyed the open door, and went on— “...hoots about me either, guess that makes us kindred spirits?”</p><p>Yu chuckled with a wry undertone and replied in a softer voice, “Well, I don’t know if your parents have told you they’re ashamed of you. Disgusted...Mortified…”</p><p>“Occasionally, and it stops there if I’m lucky.”</p><p>Yu fell silent. A feeling came over Adachi that this conversation mirrored a butterfly landing on his nose, with no hesitation to fly off and never look back if he made the wrong move. Quickly, he urged, “but this is about you, not me. Go on.”</p><p>“Well...I’ve never dated a girl and when I told my parents why—ah—they weren’t pleased, to say the least.”</p><p>“And why not?”</p><p>He caught Yu’s eyes trailing off to a book on his end table. When he spoke again, his voice wavered and sounded higher. “I’m unspeakable—” Yu breathed to clear his foggy throat. “Of the Oscar Wilde sort.”</p><p>This took some time for Adachi to register. When he finally put two and two together, he was at a loss of how to react. “Oh…” Yu’s misted eyes darted away; heat stung them and he refused to be seen in such a state.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I weirded you out—”</p><p>“No, not at all—” Adachi waved his hands in denial, then pressed one to Yu’s cheek to push his gaze back towards the young detective. “You should never feel like you’ve weirded me out.” He hoped the phrase could adopt a second meaning. Now may have been the place, but not the time, for that. Adachi raised his arms towards Yu, making grabbing gestures with his hands to invite Yu into a hug.</p><p>He dropped the shirt and furiously rubbed his eyes before taking Adachi up on the offer, burying his face in his shoulders and shivering with stifled sobs. Despite the way the icy fabric chilled body heat, a warm feeling passed over Yu in the contact. Tohru’s hand crept from Yu’s shoulder to the back of his neck. With a bare, jasmine-scented figure trembling in his arms, Adachi struggled to keep his mouth off. “Thanks for trusting me enough to share this,” he breathed into Yu’s ear, “I’m actually a little...relieved.”</p><p>“Relieved?” Yu lifted his face to look at Adachi.</p><p>“Big Bro-o-o!” Nanako called from downstairs. They heard a sigh, little steps pad up the stairs, and the two concluded how awkward the situation would’ve been if Nanako caught them in such a suggestive state. Yu tore away and made a dive for the fresh shirt. Adachi tore his shirt and tie off, then grabbed sunscreen and began rubbing some on Yu’s flushed nose while Yu threw the shirt on Adachi’s torso and buttoned it. They turned back to the door simultaneously, and Nanako was just in time.</p><p>With a hard exhale, her cousin forced another expression on, which slipped back off for a moment when Nanako giggled. The two wondered for a moment if this meant she knew something until she pointed at Adachi and observed, “Big Bro’s sleeves are too long for you!” Though the shirt fitted around shoulders and arms, the sleeves did fall beyond his wrists, so that his fingers only barely peeked out. One could conclude from this that Yu had narrow shoulders, not that Adachi was surprised considering the embrace of only moments ago. With the sudden shift in mood, the distance in time from the moment felt longer, and the invisible wall they wedged between them seemed to span miles.</p><p> </p><p>The deflated pool lied under the watercolor smear of the red-blue sky. Stars were easier to see in the countryside, but they wouldn’t be due for a few hours. Nanako never stayed up past the time shops closed down and left stars visible, so even after Dojima passed out and Adachi tucked his daughter in, there was not a single twinkle to be found in the deep violet through the kitchen window. The dishwashing proceeded in tense silence, as the two kept to themselves, so when one held the wet plate up by the top, the other took it holding the bottom to dry it. This went on in a rhythmic motion, and the two decided they could risk speeding up to get away from the other as possible.</p><p>Faster, each thought, I can’t stand another second alone with him.</p><p>Finally, a dish slipped. The hearts of both dropped as they ducked to catch it, but thankfully, it seemed the beast sprawled out onto the couch wouldn’t receive a rude awakening yet. This was still a wake-up call, back in the kitchen, for the situation to be talked out. Being a pair of cowards—however—all they could muster was to put the equipment aside, sit face-to-face, and pretend none of this happened.</p><p>“Don’t you have homework?” Adachi propped his ankle on a knee.</p><p>Yu sat with his legs together and rested his hands on his lap. “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“I’d hate to keep you from your assignments just to help me with dishes.” Tohru looked as if he had already reached a decision, nearly getting up. “There’s nobody waiting for me at home, so I can—”</p><p>Yu’s hand shot out to hold Adachi’s, urging him to sit back down. “I don’t have homework. I can stay here with you.” He did want to be left, but leaving—the thought of having a choice with whether or not he was alone and choosing the latter—sounded like freezing Hell.</p><p>“You seem a bit eager.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to be alone.” This wasn’t a lie.</p><p>Adachi knew. “I don’t mind.” Yet, he rested his jaw against his fist and teased until he lured the full truth out.</p><p>Yu bit his lip. “I don’t want to be alone.” He tilted in with an urgent look on his face.</p><p>“You had all those friends eager to hang out with you, and now you don’t want to be alone?” Adachi’s hands slid to the armrests.</p><p>“I’m done with surrounding myself with people I can’t be honest with anymore.” Narukami looked down. “I lie to even myself around them, but after what happened today...” Yu’s gaze returned to their original point of interest. “I feel like I can act like myself when I’m alone with you.”</p><p>“Is that so?” The tip of Adachi’s fingers hovered up towards Yu’s jawline.</p><p>“And...” Yu breathed, shifting nearer. “...And there’s something else I haven’t told you, yet.”</p><p>“Mm...?”</p><p>Dojima’s groan from the living room snapped the two back to reality. Adachi pulled his hand away and the two rose in a flash, noticing all the dishes left undone. They checked the living room, then turned their attention back to the counter. “We…” Yu mumbled, trying to take his eyes off the lips he nearly met. “…Should finish up the dishes.”</p><p>“That’d be for the best.”</p><p>They spent the next fifteen minutes in silence. Dojima stumbled in when they had just finished, clenching the side of his head. “You two done?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Adachi patted his hands dry with a paper towel. “I’ll take my leave.”</p><p>“See him off, Yu.” Dojima turned around and dropped back onto the couch, not noticing Yu squirm.</p><p> </p><p>The lights on the empty street were out, finally revealing the stars, not that Adachi would be able to take his eye off what stood closer to him at the moment. Yu slid the door halfway closed behind them, keeping his hand on. “I’m...sorry for my inappropriate behavior back there.”</p><p>“Inappropriate?” Adachi turned around.</p><p>Yu seemed to try to withdraw by pressing his back closer towards the door as if he’d somehow pass through with sheer effort. “Yeah, that. Would you be willing to forget that? Not tell my uncle about it?”</p><p>“If you meant your coming-out, then—”</p><p>“I meant what happened in the kitchen.” Yu tried to pretend that he couldn’t feel the hand reaching for his face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”</p><p>Adachi didn’t answer, only took Yu’s hands into his free one. He tilted his head slightly and pressed a kiss onto Yu’s cheek. Yu closed his eyes to truly feel the gesture and found something sorrowful in it. But there was nothing to be said.</p><p>“Big bro, are you there...?” It was Nanako’s voice from behind the door. His cousin stepped out in time to find them, and asked, “Why are you holding hands?”</p><p>Adachi asked, “What are you doing out of bed, Nanako-chan? It’s late.”</p><p>“Ah!”</p><p>“And—” He rubbed Yu’s icy hands and blue nails while occupying Nanako— “...why are you out of the house without your shoes on?”</p><p>“Well…!” Kids were easy to distract. “I had a bad dream, I want big bro to stay with me until I sleep again.” That certainly settled the matter.</p><p> </p><p>Adachi was gone before they knew it, and Yu was back in Nanako’s bedroom. He lied next to Nanako, occasionally patting her head and sighing. “What’s the matter, Big Bro?” Yu didn’t answer, he just rolled over, crossed his arms, and rested his face into them. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Oh, Nanako.” He rolled onto his back and rested his arm over his eyes. “If only I could tell you.”</p><p>Nanako sat up and decided it was her turn to pat Yu. “There, there...You can tell me!”</p><p>“If only there was anybody I could tell.” He removed his arm and sat up.</p><p>Nanako looked at him with uncertainty and finally resorted to the oldest remedy in the book. She hugged him. “I don’t really get it, but...don’t be sad for too long, okay?”</p><p>Yu sighed, twirling a few locks at the back of Nanako’s head thoughtfully, and for a moment, nobody spoke. He concluded the conversation with, “Never mind, dear. Just go back to sleep.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Boys Only Want Love If It's Torture</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Like any teenager torn between virtue and desires, Yu found it a challenge to relax, much less oversleep. He was first in class the next morning despite a night of uneasy tosses and turns in bed. It was always difficult to pay attention when the first period on Mondays was a subject that came second nature to him, but it proved a lot more challenging today. His open exercise book stared back at him blankly before he peppered it with blasé lines and uninterested swirls. When he was in love, Yu’s behavior proved to be no different than that of a textbook teenage girl.</p><p>“A couple of antique velvet chairs by a fireplace…” He mused. “And sleeping there would be the three, no, four cats we’ve adopted—” Yu paused. “...The hell am I doing?”</p><p>He drew himself up several inches and attempted to center his nerves on his physical five senses. This wasn’t a wise decision considering how cold his hands were. He extracted a small tube of lotion and squeezed a bit vanilla bean-scented cream into his palm, but rubbing his hands together under the desk only made him recall the previous night. The situation was hopeless.</p><p>“Two months,” Yu promised himself in the afternoon. “If I can avoid Adachi for just two months, I’ll be over him.” Chie caught sight of Yu pacing in quickened strides straight to his house and dashed to catch up to him. Yukiko crossed their path at the intersection of their routes home and walked the rest of the way with the two. Yosuke spotted the two girls following Yu and hopped off his bike to join his friends.</p><p>Yu was as much of a quiet person as his name would suggest, so nobody noticed how silent he had been the whole way back. It stayed that way for the rest of the summer; the supposedly heart-racing August festival guys in class couldn’t stop babbling about slipped by peacefully as Yu spent the evening with his new friend, Rise. Yosuke often teased Yu on not tanning as quickly as everybody else had due to all the time he’s spent reading in the living room, building model robots, counting off the days on a calendar, watching the hands of a clock move with unusual impatience and anything else that didn’t involve leaving the house. He’d occasionally hear voices outside of kids giggling at being chased by a young man, who would yell that their parents are worried senseless and that they had better come back at once.</p><p>Sometimes these voices were of a married couple caught in a dispute, and of a young man playing peacemaker or the voice-of-reason between them when every other man was too busy to do so. Most of the time, that same young man was getting yelled at by Yu’s uncle. And every now and then, when it became too much of an effort to resist peeking, Yu stole a glance out the window and noticed how much more tanned the young man was this time than the last. He’d quickly pull away from each instance before ‘noticing’ turned into ‘admiring’, shrugging in the end as if faking nonchalance could make it.</p><p>The sun began to rise later, and set earlier, marking the beginning of autumn. The first Sunday of September arrived four days in, which also marked a precise sixty-one days since Yu had last seen Adachi. Well, ‘spoke to’ rather than ‘seen’ would’ve been more accurate, but Yu fulfilled his promise to himself, nevertheless. With scheduling time to spend with Rise and the upcoming field trip absorbing his mind, Yu had forgotten about Adachi.</p><p>It was so until his trip for groceries had to be cut short one night. Stores closed earlier in autumn, but Adachi finished his shift at the same time as ever, which meant Yu found him outside watching the store lock up and wondering if he had food at home. It didn’t seem the guy noticed Yu; he sighed and turned to leave. The groceries in Yu’s hands were for tomorrow night’s dinner, so Yu was in no hurry to go home and silently followed Adachi out of curiosity. “Good-natured concern,” he thought, “I’m just worried for a friend.”</p><p>Bit by bit, it seemed the lights around them died away. Yu tightened his grip on the plastic bag in his hand with contemplation; if he used his allowance, he could just buy the same items again tomorrow afternoon—right? But how would he approach the matter? The twig that tripped the boy made the decision for him.</p><p>Adachi turned with an unmoving expression until he realized the person that had been some feet behind him had been Narukami, who fumbled around for his glasses. Adachi fetched them for him, and mumbled, “Is the food alright?”</p><p>Yu gave a weak glance to the bag. “Uh, yeah...yeah, thanks.” He was pulled back onto his feet as he asked, “What about you? Just came back from the supermarket?”</p><p>“Mhm, how do you reckon?”</p><p>“Lucky guess,” lied Yu, “based on your route, I mean. But how come you’re not walking back with any food?”</p><p>“Store closed before I could make it.”</p><p>“Really? Sounds harsh…” Yu pantomimed pausing in thought and faked reaching a conclusion. “But you’ve got food at home, right?” He wasn’t sure why a part of him prayed for a ‘no’. It was an ill wish, he was guilty of hoping for something unkind, but his intentions were neither ill nor unkind. Only a bit selfish.</p><p>“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure my fridge was more-or-less empty, last time I checked. But, if I hit the hay early, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“That’s no use.” It occurred to Yu he stopped being able to keep his stare on Adachi as he spoke. Now that the young detective stood near, all he wanted to do was hide his eyes. Yu shook the thought out and decided he had better focus on just moving on. “It wouldn’t do for you to neglect dinner so often, why don’t I pass by your place and cook for you?”</p><p>“For me?” When Yu finally gathered the courage to look again, he could see Adachi eye the groceries. “No, thanks.” The two looked away from the objects of their desires.</p><p>“Why can’t he just be honest about what he wants?” Thought Yu, unaware of the irony. Out loud, he asked, “Don’t you trust my cooking?”</p><p>“Hm? Sure, I do.”</p><p>“Well, well! That settles it, then.” Yu made a light tug at the end of Adachi’s sleeve. “Come on.”</p><p> </p><p>The apartment consisted of only three rooms, and Adachi usually didn’t mind that half the lights didn’t work, but the presence of a guest meant he’d have to put his scented candles to use. “Scented candles?” Yu observed, reaching for an apron.</p><p>Adachi peeled his blazer off, tossing it onto the couch, and extracted a box of matchsticks to light a candle in a dim corner. “The classic ‘you’re my coworker but we’re not friends so I’ll give you anything for your birthday’ gift.” He took another candle in hand. “Wouldn’t do for us to be stumbling around together in the dark, would it?”</p><p>Yu had much to say to this but voiced nothing. “So, is there anything you’re craving right now?”</p><p>“...Meat."</p><p>It didn’t take long for Yu to decide what to cook; he emptied half the contents of the bag in front of him to line the ingredients. They were familiar, and he’d need to work quickly. Adachi finished lighting the last few candles on the counter behind the cook. Pausing, he noticed the way Yu had been humming to himself, swinging his hips slightly to the melody and causing the ribbon he tied the apron straps into to sway a bit as well. “Say, is that beer?”</p><p>Yu felt a figure press up behind him and froze. “There’s...a six-pack in the bag, yes.”</p><p>“Mind if I…?”</p><p>“Might as well.”</p><p>Adachi held Yu’s arm for stability as his other hand crossed over his shoulder to reach for the bag. Tohru had to lean in further, pressing his chest against Narukami’s spine and breathing out of the side of his mouth against the boy’s cheek. Yu ignored the fresh scent of sandalwood aftershave. “And...there.” He swiped a can and vanished.</p><p>Feeling content, Adachi reclined onto the couch as the air carried the warm, somewhat moist, scent of fig. The candles cast a honey-orange glow on their skins, outlined with a blurred wine red. Adachi rolled over onto his stomach to trace the lips of the container with his ring finger and without interest.</p><p>A drowsy look passed into his eyes as he sipped; he had woken up at dawn for a long day with lots to be done, and even now there was still lots to do. No rest for the wicked, as they say. Adachi checked on Yu, who was pricking holes into chicken slices with a fork before cutting any excess skin or fat away. The moment he took his eyes off, he heard a sharp, “Ow!”</p><p>Tohru looked back with a jolt and watched blood drip down Yu’s finger. The drowsiness dissolved; he put the beer down, then was suddenly up and facing Yu across the kitchen counter. “What’d you do?”</p><p>“I’m fine.”</p><p>“Give me your hand.” He didn’t wait for Yu to answer before grabbing the back of his hand and turning his palm back to face upwards. “Cut yourself, huh?”</p><p>“I promise, I’m okay.”</p><p>“Wash it, you’ll find bandages in the drawer under the sink.” He nudged Yu out of the kitchen. “I’ll finish for you. What were you trying to make?”</p><p>“Chicken teriyaki,” answered Yu, before pressing the scratch between his lips.</p><p>“Nice to see you know what I like.” Adachi went on pricking holes into the other raw chicken strips. “Keep it up.”</p><p>“Keep it up? You mean I’ll be cooking for you again?”</p><p>“Not what I meant, but thanks for offering.”</p><p>“Then what did you—?”</p><p>“Out of the kitchen.”</p><p>It didn’t take Yu long to find the bathroom in the little apartment, which was separated from the living room and kitchen with the bedroom. He never thought of what Adachi’s bedroom might’ve looked like, and walking in, he wasn’t sure what he expected. But before his mind strayed elsewhere, he pressed on to wash his finger and bandage it. When Yu returned to the kitchen, he heard sizzles and eyed the new cook with suspicion. “And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?”</p><p>“Don’t you trust me?” Adachi grinned.</p><p>“No, no, I do.”</p><p>“Then I’ll trust you the same way, and answer.” Tohru sighed, with a smile still on his face. “I actually have no clue.”</p><p>“Then let me—!” He rushed forward and leaned over the counter.</p><p>“Nope!” Yu was stopped by a finger pressed against his lips. “You’re my guest so sit down and hush. I’m making food for you, and that’s love.” The boy flinched at how matter-of-fact Adachi’s tone was. “If you love me back, you’ll eat whatever I make.”</p><p>He leaned back to speak. “...Poisoning someone isn’t love.”</p><p>“To a boy, it is. It’s as they say—” Adachi flipped the pan— “Boys only want love if it’s torture.”</p><p>“Nobody says that.”</p><p>“What’s with the sour attitude? Really thought I meant what I said about food and love?”</p><p>“Wh—No—!”</p><p>“Aw, now you’re all red and befuddled. How cute.”</p><p>The sudden teasing did confuse Yu and agitated him as well. “This was biting the hand that fed you,” thought Narukami, making his way back to the table that stood between two couches. He wasn’t so heartless a couple of months ago. Still, he had no choice but to sit and wait for the torture device to be brought to the table.</p><p>Soon enough it sat at the table, seeming innocent at first glance. However, the feeble lighting was flattering and unreliable, so Yu opened a can of cherry soda, just in case.“Well?” Adachi gave him an expectant look. “Aren’t you going to eat?”</p><p>“Wait, this was for you.”</p><p>“Bzzt. I had a late lunch today and, furthermore, lived here for seven months. I’ve also been working on the police force longer than that. Don’t you think a busy guy like me is used to going without dinner?”</p><p>“Then why did you bring me—?”</p><p>“Open wide.” And a forkful had been shoved into Yu’s mouth. He munched slowly, at first, as if to test if perhaps it wasn’t as bad as they expected. It was twice as worse. Yu shoved the soda can to his mouth and washed the abhorrent flavor out.</p><p>“I can’t eat this…” Yu groaned.</p><p>Adachi brought the fork to his own mouth for a bite, shuddered, then said, “You’ll be fine if you keep drinking.”</p><p>“You don’t think it’s edible, eith—mmf!”</p><p>“Que séra, séra.”</p><p>It wasn’t sickening enough to bring a stomach ache, but he had to chug a lot of cherry soda to clear the bizarre taste. When Adachi picked at another piece, Yu grabbed the fork, stating, “I can finish it without being fed, thank you very much!”</p><p> </p><p>It was true, for Yu soon cleaned his plate, and poured a copious amount of cherry soda into his mouth. He shifted the can a bit to wipe his chin, without rubbing off the glassy, burgundy stain on his lips. “Here we go again,” thought Adachi.</p><p>A minute shifted where the two said nothing. “Well…” Adachi rose, strolled around to sit on the couch behind Yu. Startlingly, there wasn’t any sign of shuffling or movement when Yu felt breath against his ear.</p><p>Tohru had bent in to purr, “You’ve been a good guest, and I’m grateful for your sad attempt at dinner, so I’ll give you a reward.”</p><p>“Reward?”</p><p>“Yep,” he leaned back and his voice rose again, for he only meant to scare Yu for a bit. “I know there’s more you came for than cooking for me.”</p><p>“Why do you reckon?” Yu kept his gaze on the dent in the couch across him where Adachi had originally been sitting when the cruelest thing he’d done was feed his guest bad food. He refused to face the Adachi that was trying to press mortifying truths out of him.</p><p>“I know because you never left when I told you to stop cooking. Also because you cleaned your plate.”</p><p>“I wanted to be a good guest.”</p><p>“You gave all your groceries over to me. Not good enough?”</p><p>“...Well,” Yu couldn’t answer this, “you can at least thank me—”</p><p>“I plan on it, just help me by answering my question. What do you want from me?”</p><p>“I just—” Yu shrugged— “I guess I just missed you, is all.”</p><p>“Yeah, I haven’t seen you in months, have I?” He crossed a knee over the other, and Yu unconsciously rested the back of his head against this. “Never expected you to descend upon me so suddenly one night and bring your delicious cooking with you.”</p><p>Yu can again. “Oh, uh, I guess your praise is rewarding enough.” He tipped the container back.</p><p>Adachi nodded. “You also ate my cooking, so those are some guts you’ve got there.” His fingertips drummed gently down behind Yu’s ear. Yu’s mouth parted as he watched the gesture out of the corner of his eye, frozen and too frightened to say anything.</p><p>Adachi stroked his hair out of the way, before continuing to patter in gentle, circular motions—the tip of the ear, earlobe, neck, then stroked back up to repeat. “Well, you almost brought your delicious cooking,” he spoke in a low voice, nearly humming. Yu’s eyes batted the other way softly, thinking he might allow this to continue. Tohru’s brought the side of his forehead to rest against Yu’s hair. Yu’s free arm reached up and wrapped itself around Adachi’s head, rubbing the back of his neck.</p><p>A sensation welled up in them, starting from the pits of their stomachs, and they wondered if it was perhaps the bad cooking. Yu finally gathered the courage to drop the empty can, turn his head and watch Adachi, before rising all at once and hugging the young detective’s head close to his chest. The length of this caused Yu’s legs to give in, so he squeezed the weight of his hip and side of his thigh into space next to Tohru on the seat, lowering himself so Adachi’s head rested on his shoulder now, and continued to lean into the hug.</p><p>Adachi brought the side of his lips to Yu’s ear. “Y’know, you still owe me. It’s about time I was repaid.”</p><p>“Hm…?”</p><p>“That night, last summer.” He turned to face Yu. “You left me hanging.” Yu couldn’t answer this; the paper-thin distance between them made his head spin. “That wasn’t very nice of you,” his sigh left a strange sensation on Yu’s mouth, “teasing me like that.”</p><p>“I’m…sorry…”</p><p>“You’re not.”</p><p>The unconscious layer of the young detective’s mind suspected the next moment and neither of their eyes needed to be open for it. Almost in apology, the stained lips of the silver-haired youth descended unto that of a salt-scented figure, like the view of a midnight beach in winter, where stars kiss the ocean. Making slow, warm presses, Adachi could tell Yu had never been kissed. And the angel needed to be, badly.</p><p>Yu broke it, shifting far enough to discover he left Adachi’s mouth maroon, and lingering close enough to murmur into his lips, feeling his insides light on fire, “You’re—You’re making this harder…”</p><p>“Mhmm?”</p><p>“We shouldn’t be doing this, Tohru...You don’t know what you want—”</p><p>Calling him by his first name was a mistake. Adachi seized Narukami and flipped him over, so his back would be pushed against the sofa. Yu didn’t move away, allowing Tohru to leave trail open-mouthed kisses down the front of the boy’s neck then clasp the pulse of his throat with his lips, without taking his eyes off Yu’s face. “God, you’re fun to kiss,” Tohru’s growl left a warm breath tickling Yu’s Adam's apple as he unbuttoned his victim’s shirt with one hand.</p><p>Their rhythm was interrupted by the clock striking midnight. It seemed Adachi already knew what that meant; he lifted his head to eye the clock, but to be sure, Yu took this as an opportunity to escape. “Um, you know, my uncle’s going to notice I’m gone,” he mumbled, wriggling himself out of Adachi’s clutch. Adachi slowly released his grasp, like a child giving a toy up at bedtime. Yu snuck backward until he was sitting on the armrest. “So, uh...I should probably head back, now.” He hopped off the other side and fumbled his shirt closed. Now that he stood in the candlelight, Adachi realized that Yu’s cherry soda must’ve passed onto his lips, as there was a smear on Yu’s Adam's apple.</p><p>The boy hastened to the exit, muttered goodbye, and soon left. Adachi kept his eyes on the door from his spot, dragging a thumb across his stained bottom lip.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rather than Dojima, who had fortunately been busy that night, the warm glow of Yu’s disorganized bathroom welcomed him home. Positioning himself in front of his off-white sink, Narukami screwed the knob marked with faded blue and cupped a handful of water to his mouth to rinse and spit the after-taste of cherry soda out, running wet knuckles against his lips. Then, he rubbed a combination of ginger-scented soap lather and icy water in his palms, before scrubbing the stain off his neck. Yu went on, determined to sterilize himself of the kisses the young man—the nevertheless adult, the police detective, his uncle’s assistant—peppered all over his throat. He could still feel them; the sensation echoing in his nerves until his shell-pink nails threatened to tear from damp fragility, and raw skin reeked of spice—“I’m not going to this week’s school trip thinking about him.” The thought was punctuated by the sound of a tap screwing back and the patting of a coarse, grey towel from nose to his collarbone.</p><p>Yu’s eyes took a moment to adjust to the dark as closing the bathroom behind him left his room in tar-black, and he unfolded the futon, spreading across it after he peeled his shirt off, and thinking. Things could have stopped at that rejecting kiss on the cheek, they could have acted like what sparked that summer night never happened. Then they could’ve gone from acting to truly forgetting about it, forgetting Yu ever came out to anybody at all or forgetting how good it felt to meet someone Yu could finally be vulnerable with, but it was Yu himself who gave in. So now, resisting Adachi’s advancements was harder than ever.</p><p>Was it truly possible to forget the way he held him so close and kissed him so good and made him feel like he was the only other human in the universe? He drew his arm across his eyes, concluding, “Can’t let my walls crumble,” as if that put a lid on the matter.</p><p> </p><p>“Should’ve kissed him good night.” Adachi snapped a second can of beer open and wrapped his lips around the edge.</p><p>Better yet, he should’ve bitten him. Should’ve made his coup de grâce and made sure Yu never forgot who he belonged to. Adachi paused, bringing the can away from his lips. Something in the word 'belong' didn’t sit right with him. He shook his head; there was no turning back or pretending he never kissed him, anyway. There was a recess in his thoughts, for some moments, before he nodded to himself. “Right, it’s what I wanted. Isn’t it?”</p><p>It was true. Tohru recalled the breathless apology, the way Yu’s body quaked in his arms, the little whine that moved Yu’s Adam's apple under each kiss—“How naive, how pure,”—but along with arousal, the thought brought a second, unwanted emotion. It was the sort of emotion that stirred a sick feeling in one’s stomach and made them feverish, the type of feeling that arrived when one had done something they hoped nobody would discover. Was it guilt? Was he starting to care for the boy?</p><p>“...Hah! Not a chance,” he said aloud to himself. Must’ve been the beer, in any case.</p><p> </p><p>Whichever area Yu stood in enveloped by his friends felt exclusive. Students distributed themselves when the teachers gave them the green light, but members of the investigation team stuck together, whispering amongst themselves with great interest in each other and impatient disregard for outsiders. It was as if a circle had been drawn around them to indicate the area of ground that’d elevate slightly like a stage, or sprout glass walls like a display case, for it was them that had been rescuing lives via supernatural means. And nobody knew but them. Yu was familiar with that childish, unspoken pride and it bored him. Nevertheless, they were his friends, who now seemed to be engaged in a conversation so loud it likely didn’t involve personas or televisions.</p><p>“It’s as they say: Relationships are like thighs—” Rise insisted— “They start smooth, then they get a little lumpy, but without them, you wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.”</p><p>Yukiko giggled. “And who, if I may ask, says that?”</p><p>“Fran Drescher.” Rise had drawn herself up straight with pride. Chie and Yosuke exchanged mirroring eye-rolls that crossed over each other and met, while Yukiko watched the two with curiosity. Rise noticed, and began nodding for emphasis so vehemently she may as well have insisted, “It’s true! As God is my witness, it’s true!” She turned expectantly to Yu. “Don’t you agree?”</p><p>“Huh?” Yu reciprocated the stare of Rise, who tapped her heel impatiently. There was a moment when each waited for the other to speak until Yu caught on and said, “Uh, yeah...I do.”</p><p>“See?!” She looked back at her friends while gesturing towards the all-knowing city boy.</p><p>“Then,” Chie observed, “Yu-kun, you must have a lot of experience with relationships!”</p><p>Yu paused. He did not; far from it. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what Rise said.” There were several groans sung in chorus, each stinging his pride more than the last; it was happening again. These days, talking with Yu was like continually shaking hands with a glove from which the hand had been withdrawn. It was as if the role of the leader hadn’t been forced upon him, which he accepted with the solemn resignation of a ghost assigned to an old house.</p><p>“Well, thanks a heap!” Rise gave Yu a gentle mock-kick to the ankle. “I can only imagine what you’ve had on your mind for so long, now.” Yu shrugged while she held his arm close to her. “Whatever it is, you better forget it while you’re on this trip.” She watched her surrounding friends nod, equally tired of Yu’s unresponsiveness as of late, then corrected herself, “Rather, we’re all sick of you ignoring us, so—” Rise jabbed her thumb at herself with determination— “I’ll make sure you have so much fun you’ll snuff the thought out completely.”</p><p>Yu sighed and forced a thin smile into his face as she dragged him onward. He doubted she could achieve such a feat. But it was a mistake to doubt an entertainer’s ability to hold your attention and make you neglect the rest of your worries.</p><p>Rise’s occupation pressed on beyond touring on their trip, until less than a week into November, by which Adachi had finally been the last person on Yu’s mind. She didn’t give in when they returned to Inaba, dragging Yu out shopping. Though most trips were spent trying hats on, they also bought colored beads, matching pink rubber alligators, a traveling chess set, linen handkerchiefs, and so on.</p><p>On a Friday night back from exploring curiosities in the second-hand store, Yu promised his friend he’d rejoin her in the morning for a journey to the pet shop. He didn’t expect to regret making the promise so quickly.</p><p>The following morning, Dojima caught Yu reading a threat letter addressed to their house.</p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>And a second shudder was sent down Yu’s spine.</p><p>Tension ran high while Nanako watched on with distress as her father refused to believe a word of her cousin’s pathetic explanation. He ended up placing his very nephew under custody, hardly believing the very family member he’s taken in with for six months had been lying to him. So after “refusing to cooperate or give an honest answer”, Yu was to spend the night detained.</p><p>Guilt stirred in his stomach. He felt his forehead burn up, both with shame and worry. Narukami raked his mind time and time again in search of what he could tell his uncle, what he could do next. Was there anything he could say to defend himself? Anything beyond tall-tales about Personas and televisions?</p><p>“Chin up, Yu-kun.” Adachi sat on the other side of the desk, paper bag clutched in his hand. He had been asked to keep an eye on Yu, probably to make sure the boy didn’t bite his tongue and kill himself with fright. “Your uncle doesn’t hate you, I can tell you that.”</p><p>Yu said nothing—he eyed the bed, then looked back at Tohru, and waited. Adachi extracted an almond croissant. “Picked a couple up out of a bakery on the way here, help yourself.” Yu slowly accepted the proffered snack, unsure the incident left his appetite intact. “I mean,” Adachi went on, “he put you away here, where you’ll be safe. No surprise there, you should’ve seen the way he panicked; it’s clear he wants to believe you. I want to believe you.” He laughed, waving an uneaten croissant in his hand while Yu was halfway through his. “But, ah, where do I even begin? These so-called...personas? Really?”</p><p>“Search me.” He swallowed. “What can I say?”</p><p>“Well, what you can do is get some rest.” Tohru took a bite. “Make like a good boy and hit the hay; it’s probably all the excitement that’s worn your pretty little noggin out.” Yu popped the last bite into his mouth as his gaze returned to the bed. He’d been peering there so often on account of how tired he was, but also because it occurred to him there was nowhere for Adachi to sleep. He had to ask.</p><p>“Hmmph? ‘Where am I going to sleep’?” Tohru swallowed the mouthful. “I guess I can stay here.”</p><p>Yu’s guilt returned to his face. “I don’t know about taking such a large bed while you settle for a chair. It was my slip-up that got us into this…”</p><p>“You can thank me by hurrying up so I can get some shut-eye myself.” He crumpled the paper bag in one hand and tossed it into the wastebasket behind him. Yu watched the detective for any sign of detachment between what he said and how he felt. Adachi noticed this and grinned back. “What, not bored of me yet?”</p><p>“Oh, no…” Yu shook his head. “No, uh, I’m glad you were the one assigned to this…” He fidgeted a bit, waiting. Tohru continued to smile while watching him but said nothing, so Yu stood up. “Well, I better go to—”</p><p>“Did I ever tell you how happy I am that we kissed?”</p><p>Yu froze in his tracks. He stared at Tohru, slowly sitting back down. “No.”</p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p>“No…”</p><p>“‘Course you didn’t.” Adachi chucked his head to face the ceiling. He sighed, kicking to tilt the seat back and thinking. “Look—” He faced Yu again, frowning. “I don’t want you to regret anything. I hate the thought that I might’ve...messed you up, or...I don’t want either of us to have to pay for this.”</p><p>“Huh?” Could it have been Adachi was having second thoughts? Perhaps even a stronger sense of virtue than Yu presumed? In any case, he might back away entirely if Yu didn’t speak up—and Tohru seemed to be surprisingly responsible—so...why not? “Nah…” Narukami sat straight and took the plunge. “No, it’s not like I told anyone about this.” Adachi gave a grin of contempt and tossed his head to the side. “You’re—” Yu leaned forward, placing a hand on the desk as if he was making a physical attempt to push his point across the surface. “You’re not going to be in any trouble or anything—”</p><p>Tohru chuckled, returning his gaze to Yu. "That’s not what I’m talking about.” It looked like the boy didn’t understand—and, oh, how young he looked when he didn’t understand—so Adachi simply concluded, “Forget it, kid, just go to sleep.”</p><p>The way Tohru’s words suddenly began nudging Yu away caught Narukami’s attention. He watched Adachi bring his chin in and close his eyes before Yu himself rose, removed his shoes and school jacket, then tumbled into the mattress. It was certainly better than a futon. How broke would anyone need to be to find being held in custody comfortable? Narukami didn’t want to think about it. He just crawled under the blanket and tried to tune his thoughts out.</p><p>Adachi had removed his blazer to spread across his torso and his head angled back onto the headrest. He didn’t shift an inch, so it seemed Tohru managed to fall asleep. Yu couldn’t tell if he could say the same about himself. Anything he heard or saw behind the darkness of his eyelids was in his head, but it felt so vivid and self-aware he was unsure he’d call it a dream.</p><p>His vision twisted from one image to the next in a cycle so long, he was shocked that all it took to shake him from restless sleep was soft murmuring from Adachi. Yu rose in his spot and listened. He watched Tohru’s figure, drenched in strips of powdery moonshine, and became aware of the crickets’ distant rhythm, growing more and more awake.</p><p>“...Adachi.” There was no answer. “Adachi, wake up.” Adachi sighed, but nothing stirred. Yu swallowed, and at last said, “Tohru.”</p><p>“...What is it?”</p><p>The whisper jolted Yu. It didn’t sound like a soft hiss, but rather low and full of voice. “I’m sorry, am I bothering you?”</p><p>“Had a bad dream?” He opened an eye.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>Tohru opened the other. “Why’d you wake me up?”</p><p>“I don’t know...I didn’t want to be alone.”</p><p>“Bit of a strange one, aren’t you?” He rose from his seat and stumbled across the room to crouch near the edge of Yu’s bed. “Always complaining about loneliness, yet I don’t see you hanging with your friends all that often.”</p><p>Yu took a moment to register. “What do you mean? I always—”</p><p>“Beyond them skipping after you around town and talking over you like their city boy is just some darling pet. I’ve never seen you join the conversation, still, you complain so much about loneliness.” Yu couldn’t answer this and knew he didn’t have to. Adachi withdrew his phone from his breast pocket and flipped it open. “It’s two, you usually wake up at this time?”</p><p>“Huh?” Yu was taken aback by the sudden shift in topic. “Um, I never check the clock. I guess I stopped trying to; my mind is at its most vivid when I wake up at night anyway—” he decided against bringing up recurring nightmares— “I just know I won’t go back to sleep anytime soon.”</p><p>“Well, what do you want me to do, now?” His eyes were half-lidded, but the way his brows shot up made Yu’s stomach churn. “...Sleep with you?” He watched Yu’s reaction. Just as the boy opened his mouth to answer, however, Adachi decided he didn’t want to know. “I’m kidding.” He paused, patting the floor. “To an extent.”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>Adachi laid back so far, Yu would need to crawl closer to the edge to see him. Tohru didn’t move from his spot, just pressed his head against the palm of his hand and watched the ceiling fan. Soon, he closed his eyes. Yu found the minimized distance somewhat comforting, so the boy returned to his initial position. Seconds ticked by on the clock, then Narukami gently snuck his hand, palm facing up, over the rim of the mattress.</p><p>Yu, placid but inwardly on fire, waited. Nothing happened for some moments, and he was ready to withdraw his arm. “It was a stupid idea, anyway.” But just then, the back of his wiry hand met another, and the spaces between his fingers were filled perfectly. Blood and thrill rushed to the child’s face at such a small gesture, and he had to clasp his eyes shut before Adachi noticed how wide they were.</p><p>It was the only night Yu managed to sleep away.</p><p> </p><p>A storm of events whirled into November, and it was so that love was pushed to the final item on Yu’s list of priorities once again. Romance waited down there, beneath even finishing books he had forgotten of or returning to neglected shows. For it was in November that life seized Narukami’s sanity, plunged it into icy water, beat the thing senseless, wrung it dry, and unrolled it onto a sunny porch as if it were some rug to be washed.</p><p>From kidnapping to a traffic accident, to two hospitalized relatives after nights of brawling supernatural creatures for the sake of a little girl, to Yu finally finding himself perched at a row of seats by his cousin’s room and waiting. Here was when his mind was in that state of drying off the dampness of the previous nights. Yu tapped his heel in constant motion after he was told to quit pacing holes into the hallway ground as it got in the way of doctors or nurses. Once, a nurse passed the boy and wondered if he was about to ask anything, for Yu’s eyes were drilling holes into the man. Yu had sat with such a stare for a while now, jaw clenched whenever he wasn’t chewing the inside of his mouth or grinding his teeth. The nurse shook his head and left.</p><p>Yu’s hands trembled in the grip of each other while they propped his chin up; the pain in his back rose to strain his neck, and he didn’t want to rely on it to support his pounding head.</p><p>Something icy and hard pressed against his ashen cheek.</p><p>He jerked away, wincing and checking for the culprit of the canned soda-assault.</p><p>“How’s it going, kid?”</p><p>“...Oh.” His hand received the proffered drink, along with unwelcome cold. “Good evening.” The black scarf hooked around the back of Tohru’s neck looked familiar—the one Nanako knitted, perhaps?</p><p>Adachi sat, pressing up to Yu’s side as if the long seat wasn’t empty. “Came to give you an update on your uncle so I thought I’d get you a soda on the way. You look like you need one.”</p><p>Yu tucked the can away into his bag, being in no mood to drink. “How’s Uncle? Is he okay?”</p><p>“He’s resting easy now, relax. Sound asleep and all…” Adachi mumbled the end of the sentence before tossing his head back to drink. “And you?”</p><p>“Just peachy.” The answer was quick and grumbled while Yu wasn’t even looking at Tohru. He did, now, and hurried to clarify: “Fine, I’m fine.”</p><p>“You’ve been better.”</p><p>“I’m trying my best.”</p><p>“And so is Nanako.” The name made Yu tense up. “She’s a strong girl, so you better not lose faith in her, eh? Those are the Dojima genes we’re talking about here.”</p><p>“Are you asking me to stop worrying?”</p><p>That’d make Adachi quite the hypocrite. He flashed a wry smirk at the thought. “I’m asking you to go get some sleep before their house begins sleeping under dust itself. You’re a good kid, so don’t think I don’t know you’ve already got homework keeping you up.”</p><p>“Dust, huh…” Yu looked down thoughtfully. “The house is going to be empty, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know what you’re going to do without Nanako’s cooking.”</p><p>“You know I can cook.”</p><p>“You can’t.”</p><p>“D’oh—” Yu sat up. “Oh, come on; that was once. You were the one who ruined the dish!”</p><p>Adachi burst into a fit of chuckles and ruffled Yu’s hair. “That’s the spirit. You and I are going to learn how to cook and surprise your cousin when she’s back.” Adachi pictured how surprise would look on her cherubic little face. “Sounds good?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Not gonna cry when she tells me I’m the better chef?”</p><p>“When—huh?”</p><p>“Not gonna beg and weep when Dojima tells me to take your place?”</p><p>“What…? No!”</p><p>“Uh-huh.” Tohru simpered, pressing his knee against Yu’s. “For now, it’s pleasant to have the house alone to ourselves, mm?”</p><p>Yu held his breath. “...Our—Ourselves...?”</p><p>“Well, we’re going to cook, yeah? I won’t be available to stay long but we can squeeze quick dishes in during my free time.”</p><p>“Oh.” Yu exhaled. “Cook, right.”</p><p>“Duh, Nanako would throw us out of the kitchen if she caught me trying to help.” Adachi caught Yu turning away to conceal a pout. He did a sloppy job, but it didn’t matter since Tohru couldn’t guess what Yu’s puerile moue was about, anyway, simply that he looked juvenile. Childish. “Damn cute.”</p><p>Yu looked back at him. “Beg your pardon?”</p><p>But Adachi only pulled Yu closer for their noses to come into gentle contact. Tohru’s eyes closed as he spoke, while Yu watched. “Look, you’re going to be fine, fine? All three of you are, so you better quit getting worked up, ya big worrywart.” He couldn’t imagine telling anyone this months ago, not even Yu.</p><p>Yu nudged closer and parted his lips expectantly, but Tohru mistook this for a nod. “There’s a good boy.” He pushed back, causing Yu to whine and angle his chin up further, following Adachi’s face. Adachi watched him, thinking of how truly boyish Yu looked, and instead pressed Yu’s cold palm to the young detective’s lips for some time.</p><p>Yu furrowed his brows with a mix of frustration and embarrassment until Tohru punctuated the gesture with a quick and silly little peck on the fingertips, then rose to toss his scarf around his neck. “Well, goodnight, Yu.” And Yu—still leaning onto his hands and clasping his bottom lip between his teeth—watched Tohru turn away before he was a dark speck in the hall’s horizon.</p><p> </p><p>The first snowfall of December felt wrong. Yu stood outside between Yosuke and Naoto that foggy Monday afternoon, absently watching the flakes multiply and suspecting an oncoming migraine. The team asked around shopping districts, department stores, and libraries, so it was about time they narrowed the murder suspects down. The longer they thought about it, the less certain Yu was he wanted to know. He went over the names of everyone he ever met, but there was no questioning it. When Naoto listed information about the culprit they gathered and confirmed after investigating, he knew three individuals who fit the criteria. Two were of Yu’s own flesh and blood, while the third was his lover.</p><p>All of the facts added up, of course. Adachi had every opportunity to push both victims into a television and, as a detective, the means to destroy evidence that might have left a trail. Tohru was also able to approach Yu’s' house with threat letters in hand, and no one would have suspected the energetic detective, never would have doubted his perpetual enthusiasm. Yu glanced at Naoto and Yosuke in turn out of the corners of his eyes. It should be easy.</p><p>“...Adachi.”</p><p>The two look at him. Naoto nodded, hoping her ears hadn’t deceived her and that Yu’s theory aligned with hers. “Pardon?”</p><p>“Tohru Adachi.” He balled his fist, the name leaving his mouth and leaving a toothache of regret. The two shifted their gaze from Yu to each other, turning the possibility over in their minds without looking the least bit surprised.</p><p>“Let’s get back to the others.” Naoto adjusted her cap. “They’re waiting at Aiya’s. I’m sure they’re anxious to hear this.”</p><p> </p><p>Yu’s dingy bedroom was filled with books and model robots now, but tonight, it somehow felt empty, and more desolate than the state he found it in eight months ago. Not even the moon could be seen outside the window, peering back at him from the inky sky. The silence was deep and expectant.</p><p>“He might be calling to you...” It was Rise’s voice, now an echo preying on his mind. “But, we’re all going together, okay?”</p><p>“Promise us.” And Yu had made one to Yosuke, his voice uttering the words like a broken record in his head. His eyes roamed over his television. With all his friends trusting him, Yu was the last person who could be expected to feel this lonely. He stopped short in the warm darkness, not realizing he had been walking towards the screen. His bedroom felt more unreal than ever, painted in the faint, gray light and looking as if it had been buried underground. The department store was still open, and—he considered the folded pajamas waiting for him on the drawers—he was still in a shirt and jeans. If he went now, nobody would have to know.</p><p>The room he found inside the television was no better, of course. There was a miasma of despair over it. Yu climbed in through the portal by the bed, but his empty surroundings disappointed him. Did Adachi not want to see the boy? The door standing on the other end was shut, but he didn’t want to test and see if it had been locked from the outside for fear of making noise. So, Yu looked back, only to be met by a large column of windows standing behind long, sheer curtains.</p><p>“Well, this is a problem.”</p><p>The voice turned Yu back around and revealed to him that the entrance was open. If that wasn’t heart-stopping enough, Narukami heard a gun click, then felt something hard press against the back of his head. “Why didn’t you bring the rest of them? Not even your wannabe detective friend?”</p><p>“...I needed to talk to you alone.” Yu made a pitiful attempt at adopting the sort of leveled voice one would reserve for disputes.</p><p>“To what? Change my mind? Make the tables turn?” The gun dragged down his neck until the pressure vanished. “Don’t kid yourself.” Yu wheeled around to face the raven and found nothing.</p><p>“Your whole gang should be here.” Adachi sat in the chair that had been by the entrance. He ignored the noose hovering over his head, ankle propped onto his knee, and gun dangling nonchalantly from a hand. “You know, work together, beat the bad guy.” Something in his tone mirrored that of a host opening his door to the only guest arriving at a party. Little did he know the party wouldn’t be until the following morning. “Bonds, effort, triumph, and the like. Don’t you kids love that stuff?”</p><p>Yu was no stranger to Adachi’s taunting, but only in jest. Now, each word reeked of so much malice, it almost hurt. Tohru went on, “But you know, it was fun being with you. Maybe if we met a few months earlier, it wouldn’t have come to this.”</p><p>Yu couldn’t move. He wouldn’t be able to take this facing Adachi. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Tokyo was our reality; the tiring and larger portion of our life we wouldn’t want to be in, which would make meeting you here like a dream. You made it so easy to pretend that, for once in my life, I was loved.” Yu faced his unfortunate friend and poorly-chosen lover with a pained stare. Grown-ups play dirty. “Oh, don’t look at me like that.”</p><p>“But I did—Well, I—” He swallowed, and lamely concluded, “I believed in you...”</p><p>“Is that so?” He was pleased to find another game about to begin. “And what about me made you want to believe in me so...badly?” The armed rogue stood up, kicked the chair back, and cocked his head. “Well?”</p><p>A fraction of Narukami’s mind, the size of an eyelash, knew the answer. It was tiny but there, and inimical to his ego. The last thing Yu wanted to do was admit to the idealized reveries that had been stirring in him for the past nine months. They grew more and more fanciful over time until there was nothing he wanted more than to move back to Tokyo with Tohru, wake up in his arms, spend the night of his eighteenth birthday with Adachi, watch him get down on his knees, and—what the hell was wrong with him?</p><p>The nightmare, meanwhile, found amusement in Yu’s enigmatic affection. It couldn’t begin to understand what a boy like him would find so desirable in an absolute beast like Tohru, but the puzzle made his game all the more fun. Still, that didn’t mean he didn’t want a fair game. Tohru waited for the kid to take a hint, prayed the boy couldn’t see through his bluffing, waited for his gun to intimidate Yu and make the puppy tuck his tail between his legs and trot off. Then perhaps, if Yu came back at all, it’d armed and surrounded by friends. That’s when Adachi’s fun could truly start, no holding back.</p><p>The gun’s presence didn’t drive Yu away, so perhaps Tohru would need to take a step further to scare him off. He crouched to place the gun on the floor beside him, lifting a hand to signify he wasn’t going to shoot and stood back up.</p><p>“Come closer,” Adachi ordered. Narukami faltered, then obeyed, for one step. “Closer.” Yu took a measured stride, wisely and obediently, but his hesitation agitated Tohru. “Keep coming until I tell you to stop.”</p><p>Again...? Yu put his faith in Tohru and proceeded, but of course, trusting a first-degree murderer was never a wise decision; the credulity of a teenager knew no bounds. Standing in a room alone with Tohru was like walking barefoot through a rose garden. Speaking with him was like licking honey off the thorns. Tohru never told him to stop, and now all that hung between them was thin air laced with the scent of Yu’s clove and cedarwood.</p><p>Yu’s gaze turned away, traced the corners of the room and read titles of spines in the bookshelf without registering them, anywhere but Adachi. It was all a mix of Tuscan-sun yellow and ink like the two were subjects of a faded photograph. “Now look at me.” The command cut through the silence. The silence was all that answered. “I said,” Tohru’s hand somehow managed between their bodies up to grab Yu’s collar, “look at me.”</p><p>Narukami angled away further, lifting his chin slightly to place an air of contempt to this gesture. Yu wasn’t being naive, no, he dared Tohru to do anything about it. The man was feeling testy, and soon forgetting he only meant to scare Yu away, decided the gesture couldn’t slip by unpunished. Adachi flipped him onto the single bed, the action thrusting the back of Yu’s head against the pillow as he clawed his tie undone, lips curling up into a wolfish leer while hopping on. It was sometime here when working against Adachi’s instincts stopped, when his mind dissolved from “please don’t touch the work of art,” to, “don’t work, please touch the art.” He pressed one knee into the side of the boy’s hip that faced the wall while the other drilled between the teen’s legs and pushed him deeper into the mattress.</p><p>There was an exchange of expectant stares when neither spoke, and Yu fought against showing any sign of feeling the pressure Tohru’s knee put down there. Before Yu could say anything, Adachi’s eyes grew larger. Darker, if that was possible until they held the magnitude of black holes. “He’s going to punch me,” thought Yu, grasping the mattress before he was sucked in, “knock the lights out of me, knock me into next week.” Tohru lifted his knee to press into Yu’s other hip and yanked him up by the collar, straddling the boy. Narukami closed his eyes to brace himself.</p><p>Rather than a blow, a realization hit Yu; he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>Yu opened his eyes to discover he was being suffocated by a kiss, s<em>ans pitié</em>. “Mmf...!” He clawed at Adachi’s spine, but Tohru’s mouth smothered any protest Yu had, causing it to surface as a stifled moan. Numb and sweaty hands dropping, he regretted not inhaling before the contact. The room seemed to move at a dizzying pace, and if Yu tried to speak again—he thought, hazy eyes rolling to the back of his throbbing head—he feared he’d lose his voice.</p><p>Finally, Adachi lifted his head, hissing a sharp exhale and leaving a string of saliva. He drew another breath. With some embarrassment, Yu realized he was arching up onto Tohru.</p><p>Narukami coughed and nearly dropped himself had Adachi not hooked an arm around his hips, drawing him closer. The back of his fingers found Yu’s cheek, absorbing every inch of the boy’s features into his memory with a fleeting sign of grief appearing in his expression. It was as if Yu was an armful of snow that’d melt away in seconds.</p><p>“Damn it…” The susurration of regret at his feverish kiss was nearly lost to Yu’s mouth. Soon, his hand lifted and, neglecting the first button, worked fast and clumsy to undo the rest of Yu’s shirt. It occurred to Adachi what he was holding, and his hand shot off.</p><p>Tohru paused meditatively, then released the tension of the moment through a sigh and simply rested himself against Narukami. Shackled in his embrace, the weight of Adachi’s torso nearly crushed Yu’s stomach and chest, but the warmth he found through the shirt felt unbelievably close to a heavy blanket. He nearly melted into it.</p><p>Yu rubbed blurriness out of his heavy, red eyelids—moving his arm like it bore the weight of lead despite its slender exterior. Through lips too exhausted to close themselves, the boy had been trying to suck the cold air in and wake up. He wasn’t even awake enough to see how tenderly Tohru had been watching him, wondering how much of Yu’s aroma sank into the bedsheets he planned to sleep in that night.</p><p>Tohru pressed a kiss to his lover’s temple, mumbling without removing his mouth, “You’re just tired, aren’t you?” He lifted himself a bit, the guilt of toying with someone so young and delicate kicking in. “I’m sorry if I’ve driven you crazy, tonight. You should go home and hit the hay.”</p><p>Adachi pushed his weight off Yu, kneed the edge of the matters, and returned his feet to the floorboards. He watched Yu with a hand on his hip, but finding that the boy was too miserable to move a millimeter, sighed, “Come on, you’re making this hard.” Tohru shook his head, grabbed Narukami’s wrists and wrenched him to his feet.</p><p>Yu faltered over his steps, so Adachi grabbed him by the shoulders and turned the figure to face him while the boy’s back faced the returning gateway to Inaba. Yu, meanwhile, hadn’t realized the windows were replaced by a dark egress. “See you tomorrow.” Tohru brought his chin in and raised his brows as if he was expecting a promise. “Okay?” But he didn’t wait for Yu to answer before pushing him over the threshold.</p><p> </p><p>Before Yu knew it, he was back on the cold, hard floor of the June’s electronics section.</p><p>He rubbed his tailbone while considering the large television before him. “Welcome back.” Yu twitched, and turned around; the aisle seemed empty until his eyes met Yosuke’s. The boy had his arms crossed and glared at Yu, but Yu’s lack of response broke his stern expression and produced a sigh. “I told you not to go alone, but—” He brought a hand to his hip and shrugged— “I knew you’d go, anyway.”</p><p>“What d’you mean?”</p><p>“Think I don’t know my best friend’s ticks? I know who you snuck out to see.” Yu flinched. “You were...” He brought the side of his finger to his chin, amplifying an air of cunningness. Despite Chie often comparing him to different primates, did Yosuke suddenly seem sharp today? “...trying to protect your dear friends from the whimsical mastermind, weren’t you?”</p><p>Maybe his wit was a trick of the light. “Uh, yeah.” Narukami mumbled to hide the rasp in his voice, throwing his head down like a nod, sans bringing it back up.“Yeah, I didn’t want him to hurt you guys.”</p><p>“Geez, you should trust us more. I mean, look at you!” Yosuke crouched and had to whisper as his last few words were nearly yelled. “You’re a mess. What’d he do to you?”</p><p>“Mess...?”</p><p>“Your hair is. And your shirt’s undone, you look exhausted, you’re shaking, and—” A gentle sob cut him off. Wide eyes met a misty pair as the sight of Yu bringing the back of his hand to his mouth with embarrassment startled Yosuke.</p><p>“Hey--” Yosuke’s hands fidgeted around Yu’s trembling shoulders-- “I’m not going to tell anyone...It’s not that bad…” Yu only hiccuped louder, so Yosuke hid Narukami’s face in his shoulder in an attempt to conceal the sounds. “You were just trying to protect us, anyway, I’m not mad…” The ignorant teenager grabbed both of Yu’s arms to pull him up to his feet. “Look, we’re going to make the bastard pay tomorrow, but we’ll need our leader to get enough shut-eye. And be in one piece, okay?”</p><p>Yu didn’t know if his heart would make it out in one piece. He could try to assemble the fractions, but there’d forever be a hollow left. In his heart, there would always be a blank space.</p>
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